


Midnight Ladybugs

by maria_j_harper



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cat-Calls (whistling), M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:22:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2215680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maria_j_harper/pseuds/maria_j_harper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Strider, what are you doing here?”<br/>“Nothing. I was hoping to take a piss here, but instead I find myself admiring your ladylegs.” Bugs. You meant to say ladybugs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Ladybugs

Your name is Dave Strider. It is exactly 12:18 in the morning, based on the time it was when you entered the veil. You are aware of this the way that you’re aware of the socks on your feet, somewhere between peripheral knowledge and certainty. You are also skin-crawlingly aware that you are not moving through time the way that you’re supposed to. It grates on your Knight of Time nerves like the buzz of fluorescent lighting or a puppet staring at you.  
Usually you can distract yourself from it, turn it into background noise. You rap or draw or help out with Can Town, and it goes away for a while. It’s a quarter after midnight (closer to a third, but who says that?), the Mayor is cozily asleep, Terezi is no where to be found, and besides, no self-respecting coolkid does anything resembling work at a time like this, not even ironically. So the only thing distracting you from the discomfort of feeling time twisting and warping around you at the moment is your only slightly more uncomfortable need to take a piss.  
It is thus that you find yourself roused from your warm bed and padding barefoot to the “ablution chamber” so that you can deposit your “waste” in the “load gaper.” You wonder, briefly, why trolls don’t have urinals. Does it all just... come out the same hole? Ha, trolls are weird.  
Yeah, if by weird you mean weirdly hot. Not all trolls. A certain one though...  
You're not thinking about that. Nope.  
You find the “ablution chamber.” You also find the very troll you were in the middle of definitely not fantasizing about. Karkat is brushing his teeth or, as he would probably put it, “scrubbing his fangs. He appears to be doing so half asleep... and also half naked. He’s wearing a grey t-shirt that is a couple shades lighter than his skin, ladybug print briefs, and nothing else.  
You do what any coolkid does in this situation. You whistle, a two-note wolf whistle that reverberates off the chamber’s white tile walls.  
He turns, slowly. He still looks half asleep. “Strider, what are you doing here?”  
“Nothing. I was hoping to take a piss here, but instead I find myself admiring your ladylegs.” Bugs. You meant to say ladybugs. Though, in retrospect, that wouldn't have been much better. Fortunately, you have your unbreakable veneer of Cool to mask your inner wince.  
“My WHAT?” Karkat growls, tone dangerous. He sounds a lot more awake now.  
You can’t back down, if you change your tune, he’ll know. “Lady. Legs. Seriously, I think I saw those babies in a magazine somewhere, like in a cigarette ad or something. Or if I didn’t, I could have. Do you model? Because hot damn.” You whistle again.  
He twitches, like actually visibly twitches, and you think you spot the beginnings of a blush on his grey cheeks. “Can you not fucking make that sound? Your shit-head facetious trilling is unbelievably irritating, and it needs to stop right fucking now!”  
“What sound? This sound?” You whistle again. But really, what did he expect? He makes it so easy! And he’s so adorable when he’s flustered like this. Um... you didn’t mean for that to sound so gay. The fact that you ARE gay is irrelevant. Cool guys like you don’t say, or even think, things that fucking gay. Like, holy shit Dave, shut the fuck up.  
“Holy shit Dave, shut the fuck up! You have no idea of the social implications of that kind of trilling, do you? You think it’s just some stupid Earth thing from a stupid fucking cartoon!” Karkat says, twitching again. “Fangpaste” in and around his mouth makes him look rabid. You wonder if trolls can get rabies.  
“What, is it some kind of Alternian mating call or something?”  
“Sure, if you want to put in in a way that is grossly simplistic and basically wrong. Satisfied? Now will you leave me the fuck alone?” He walks toward you, trying to push past you, through the door.  
“You’ve got something on your face.”  
He stops. Growling at you, he turns back to the sink and bends over to spit and rinse. It’s not your fault that his new position gives you a prime view of his excellent ass, and you’re certainly not complaining. In fact, you give another whistle.  
His face is red when he turns to you, bearing his gleaming white fangs. “That’s it Strider, I literally cannot stand you one second more! I hope to GOG that the Powers That Be view this as a just death, because otherwise I’m just going to keep trying until I kiss you- shit, KILL you, PERMANENTLY!!!”  
Whoa, calm the fuck down Kit-Kat, it’s a compliment. You can’t go on a murderous rampage every time- wait, did you say kiss me?”  
“No, I said kill you. There’s a difference.”  
“Uh, sure, that’s what you were trying to say sure, but that Freudian slip of yours Rose has been on your case about got in the way- and you said kiss me.”  
“Troll Freud was a crackpot and everyone knows it Dave! I said I’ll kill you and that’s what I fucking meant, you heinous shit-covered asshole!”  
“Kiss me.”  
“Kill you.”  
“Kiss me.”  
“Kill you!”  
“Kiss me.”  
“Kill you!”  
“No, Karkat, seriously. Kiss me.” Before you can think too hard about it, you take him by the shoulders and smash your mouth down on his. For a moment he just stands there and he’s about to flip out, you know it, but instead he kisses you back. His hands are on your back and his lips move in harmony with yours and holy fuck why hadn’t you done this sooner? You breathe in his closeness, like you can make this moment last forever.  
Finally, but much too soon, you break apart.  
“Now get out. I gotta piss like you wouldn’t believe. That’s still a thing you know. It didn’t ever stop being a thing.” He starts to say something, but you hold up your hand. "No, but seriously, unless you're going to stand there and watch me pee like some pervert, scram."  
He leaves, and you allow yourself just a little smile as you watch him go.


End file.
